It may not be obvious from the title, but my post today was inspired by the idea to "not put all your eggs in one basket." A little over a year ago, I signed my first publishing contract. As I navigated the new waters of publication, I also made efforts to increase my social media presence as an author, plus I was busy working on what I planned to be book 2 in my Tales of the Mystics series. Soon I tacked on a short story, then another short story, then a novella. And more marketing.For a while, it was great. I felt so productive, and I had clearly found my "thing." I was juggling being an author and a stay-at-home mom, so how could I possibly have time for anything else? But eventually that mentality started to have a negative effect. Every spare moment that wasn't devoted to my family needed to go to something writing-related. If it didn't, I was wasting precious time. I placed huge importance on every marketing effort, and I got frustrated that even with dedicating as much time as I could to authorly activities, many others seemed to be doing so much more.
Does this sound unhealthy to you? It took a while, but finally I noticed how unbalanced my life had become. Sure, I was getting a lot done, but I wasn't getting enough sleep, I was feeling stressed and anxious a lot of the time, and I was having trouble enjoying any time spent relaxing, even when I was with my husband and sons.
So at the craziest possible time, in the midst of gearing up for my debut novel to release, I took a step back. I convinced myself that trimming down to two weekly posts on my author Facebook page would be sufficient. I allowed myself to take a break from writing new material and participating in my critique group when I had a long list of tasks to accomplish related to my blog tour and other marketing efforts. I refrained from signing up for every guest blogging opportunity I saw. I even joined a choir at my church.
And I'm so much happier for it! Some people can live and breathe writing, or whatever their chosen occupation happens to be, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I can't, and I need to accept that about myself. I hope writing and related author activities will be an important part of my life for many, many years to come, but it's not MY LIFE. Finding a better balance has helped me separate myself from my work a bit, which has resulted in less stress, more quality time with my family, and less concern about things like social media reach and negative reviews. I still stay up way too late many nights, and I still worry sometimes that I'm not doing enough, either in my writing life or everything outside it, but it's progress :)How about you? Have you struggled to find balance in some aspect of your life? Do you have any tips for those of us who want to "do it all!" without being stressed?
Thanks for reading!
Laurie
Glad you’re finding more balance and less stress. And you added your lovely voice to the choir! I struggle with balance too. It’s always hardest after a major change, everything shifts and has to be rebalanced all over again.
ReplyDeleteThank you, KaLyn! I totally agree, it's so hard when a major change happens and everything has to be rebalanced. But it's funny how those seasons always pass, even when it seems like they'll last forever!
DeleteYes, a million times, yes. I still have trouble with balance between family and writing, just like you, Laurie. The only tip I've been using is no writing after 6 (when everyone's home) or on the weekends. I try to keep family time for family. It doesn't help me be more productive career-wise, but it helps me be present for others who need me.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jill - it's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling! Some people seem to be writing and on FB all the time and still have a life, and I don't know how they do it! I like your idea of not writing when your family's home, I'm sure they appreciate that!
DeleteI can relate, Laurie! I feel the need to always be working on something. I've forgotten how to relax and have fun. Several weekends ago, the power went off at the house on a beautiful Saturday. I spend several hours outside enjoying nature, something I've always loved but something I hadn't done in a long time. I'm pretty sure God arranged that to force his out-of-balance daughter to rest. I'm trying to be more intentional about resting and managing my time.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elizabeth! It's nice to know I'm not alone! That's awesome you were able to spend some time outside. I know what you mean - sometimes I feel like my illnesses are timed at points when I really need to stop stressing out, and I suspect God's hand in it :)
DeleteGreat post, Laurie! I, too, struggle with balance, but in the other direction. I'm super social, and one of my primary strengths is problem solving. Well, there are LOTS of people in the world and an endless array of problems (especially with teenaged kids)! Writing gets short shrift from me way too often. I've had traumatic brain injury and am nearing 50, on top of everything else. So, my challenge has been to cut way back on volunteering, and let other folks solve their own problems, which is SO hard! I'm nowhere near perfect at it, yet, but when I succeed, I actually have the time, energy, and mental clarity to write more than a paragraph or two each week.
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